Building a Network of Parents around Teenagers
As we all know, parents have duties and responsibilities from when their child is born, but everything changes when their child begins adolescence. A transformation of the parental role is necessary, and parents adopt the role of advisors instead of the person in charge (1). Adolescence affects the parent-child relationship, children change and conflicts are more frequent than in childhood (2).
That is exactly the moment when we start wondering if we are doing a good job with our teens. Questions, doubts, regrets, emotions (lots of emotions!) become daily events. We think that our teenager is the only one exhibiting this challenging behaviour and we are the only parents who don’t have a clue how to deal with it.
So, let’s stop right there! Yes, your teenager is challenging you, and not only you, but every boundary around; yet he or she isn’t the only one behaving like that. Teenagers need to change, that’s exactly why it needs to happen. And no, you are not the only one with questions and doubts.
That’s why a strong network of parents is crucial and STELD is working towards one. We are the first Spanish and English speaking network of parents in Amsterdam.
I guess you’re wondering what a network of parents is? Well, building up a network of parents means that we get together as a group with many different interests, knowledge, experiences and skills, but joined by the common challenges of raising teenagers.
What are the benefits of a Network of Parents?
You will gain the latest proven knowledge regarding adolescence, the skills and tools needed to conscientiously raise global teens.
You will promote a healthy and respectful parenting style that impacts on your teenager’s adequate socioemotional development, because a comfortable parent can give space and freedom for rights and new responsibilities and welcome an effective teenager-parent communication (3).
You will have the tools to prevent risky situations in your teenager’s life.
The network may be a facilitator factor of parental involvement and give you access to resources and the confidence to address complex issues (4). You will be well equipped and prepared to deal with difficult situations such as bullying, peer pressure, substance abuse, etc.
Your self-confidence will soar, which is the key to fulfilling your role and to have clear perspectives. If you believe in your abilities to help your teenager, you actually can help him/her more effectively (4). Plus, there is also proof that parental support in learning processes has been associated with positive attitudes towards school, self-esteem, and motivation (5).
The network will act as a support group, alleviating the stress, anxiety and loneliness of raising teenagers. You will see you are not the only one. You will have a place to share and vent feelings and doubts and get reassurance from people who are facing the same challenges.
How does Steld create the Network of Parents?
- Steld offers Informative Support sessions to groups of parents where we provide information and guidance on wide topics of interest, such as:
Parenting & Education
Healthy Lifestyles
Online Safety
Socio-Emotional Skills
Inclusion & Diversity
Peaceful Coexistence
- Steld facilitates and moderates the exchanges of experiences.
- Steld meets up with parents once per month for about an hour. We’ve already started a network of Spanish-speaking parents. The group for English-speaking is in progress.
- Steld welcomes all international parents in our team. We believe that if we connect them with each other, teenagers and parents will have a supportive team to navigate this exciting, important and challenging phase of life.
If you are convinced that this is what you need, join us on the 26th of May at 10:30 hrs (CET) or 20:00 hrs (CET) via Zoom. We will talk about Positive Discipline and reflect on how to educate our teens not with rewards or punishments, but kindness and firmness instead.
This meeting will be held in Spanish. But if you do not speak Spanish, please do not hesitate to contact us. We will be delighted to offer it in English to you and all the parents you have around.
Remember!
- Parents have the right to make mistakes and change their minds. No one is perfect, and the most important issue is to fix a mistake. With the appropriate network, this process becomes more effortless than trying alone (1).
- If you all share the knowledge that your teenagers need, they will always be safe, with or without you around, due to additional backup from all adults.
This article is a result of collaborative writing with Anastasia Zacharaki
Sources consulted:
1) A “Bill of Rights” for Parents of Teens. (2020, May 13). Verywell Family. https://www.verywellfamily.com/the-rights-and-responsibilities-of-parents-of-teens-2609100
2) Branje, S. (2018). Development of Parent-Adolescent Relationships: Conflict Interactions as a Mechanism of Change. Child Development Perspectives, 12(3), 171–176. https://doi.org/10.1111/cdep.12278
3) Ungar, M. (2004). The Importance of Parents and Other Caregivers to the Resilience of High-risk Adolescents. Family Process, 43(1), 23–41. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1545-5300.2004.04301004.x
4) Curry, K. A., & Holter, A. (2015). The Influence of Parent Social Networks on Parent Perceptions and Motivation for Involvement. Urban Education, 54(4), 535–563. https://doi.org/10.1177/0042085915623334
5) Topor, D. R., Keane, S. P., Shelton, T. L., Calkins, S. D. (2010). Parental involvement and student academic performance: a multi-mediational analysis. Journal of Prevention & Intervention in the Community, 38, 183-197.
