It’s time to let it RAIN
But why? Well, I can think of a never-ending list of reasons that runs from work overload and not being able to switch off- to dealing with your teenager’s outbursts and outright rejection of any suggestion of a shared ‘fun’ activity. All this, of course, takes place against the backdrop of a house that has come to resemble a teen refuse point / doss house.
Here you can take your time and follow RAIN as a guided meditation.
R – Recognise what is happening. It means consciously acknowledging, in any given moment, what you are experiencing.
A – Allow the experience to be there, just as it is. It means letting emotions, feelings, sensations you have recognised be there, without trying to fix or avoid anything. It’s here now, so don’t fight it. It will pass.
I – Investigate with interest and care. Welcome your natural curiosity and direct a more focused attention to your present experience. You can ask yourself: How am I experiencing this in my body? Where am I feeling it most strongly?
N – Nurture. This emotion is not who you are -it’s just a feeling that will eventually go away. Try to sense what the anger, anxiety or grievance inside you needs and offer some gesture of active care that addresses the need. It could be reassurance, forgiveness, love, companionship, or even a massage. Try and see which intentional gesture of kindness helps to comfort. You can try a whisper: I’m here with you, or place a hand on your heart.
- Practising the RAIN technique alone or with our teenagers is a fantastic way to deal with emotions when it seems we all have too much to handle.
- Putting space between us and our reactions allows us to respond with kindness to ourselves, our teenagers and other people around us.
- Teenagers learn more from actions than words, so the way they watch you approach and manage emotions will definitely influence them.
Note: If you want to learn more about RAIN and the wonderful work of Tara Brach, here’s a link to investigate further.